I've been reading a lot of Merlin fic, as one does, a good bit of which has been modern day AU. I really love modern day Merlin AUs. (There are four fics in particular that I love like burning; two of them are still WIPs, though, so I think I'll save that rec post till they're done.) And I've been thinking about other Merlin AUs I would want, and there is one that I have not seen and am pretty much dying for.

I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how much I would love to have a Merlin footballer AU. Normally if I were dying for something I would at least consider writing it myself, but since in this case I know shit nothing about football, I am not even close to the person who should be writing this. Clearly someone who knows football should make this happen. Arthur the international man of mystery football star! Merlin the . . . sort of incompetent keeper who manages to make these saves out of NOWHERE and it just doesn't make a damned bit of sense and maybe he is slightly magic! (This is another thing I love -- when Merlin's still got magic in modern day AUs.)

I don't have a fully fleshed-out plot or anything, and just in terms of not knowing British/football culture I do NOT feel like I should be writing this -- I think it would be a much better and richer story written by someone who does -- but anyway, the idea was inspired by this blind item on Dlisted a while back*:

Which star athlete is having an affair with one of his teammates? In the macho world of sports, homosexuality is rarely discussed. However, these two teammates - one much more high profile than the other - have been practically joined at the hip for the past several months. Both are married, and both of their wives are in for a nasty shock if they find out. Team managment does know, and is seriously considering trading the lesser player to prevent a full-blown public scandal that might diminish their star’s reputation and ticket sales.

*How much do I LOVE Michael K, btw? SO MUCH. Never has anyone managed to gross me out so consistently in so many new and hilarious ways.

I would cut the line re: the marriage and the wives, and just leave it as "Arthur is the huge star and Merlin is the teammate," but anyway. If this kind of AU already exists and I just missed it, clearly you need to link me now. Otherwise, fly free, little footballer AU idea! Fly free!

Oh and here, have another couple of ideas for stories in other fandoms! Two first lines for stories I am never going to write:

Sam/Dean: In Stone Creek, Alabama, on a night when it's too hot to sleep under the covers, Dean pulls Sam's boxers down and licks up the length of his cock.

John/Rodney: Not that Rodney was opposed to being bathed in milk and honey, exactly, even when the milk came from cacti and the honey was the secretion of a creature that looked a lot like a yak. The women doing the bathing were all kinds of hot, and in the next tub over Sheppard definitely looked like he was enjoying himself.

I don't care if you credit me for anything above, but do shoot me a link if you do anything with them, so that I can see these stories actually existing in the world. ESPECIALLY THE FOOTBALLER AU.

And okay, hopefully this won't be confusing: now for some stories I AM writing!

Post a single sentence or two extract from each WIP you have (or as many as you want to pick). No context, no explanations.

Some original fic, some fanfic. A couple of these are rather less in progress than more, but they're all in some state of partial completion. And again, these are the stories I'm currently writing myself, so these ideas belong to me (and in one case, also to walkawayslowly). They are not up for grabs! (Although personally, I think the stuff above sounds way more exciting. FOOTBALLER AU.)

1. The rental house sprawls over its beachfront lot. It's a Cape Cod, two gables, cedar shakes and a widow's walk; it's not a beach house, it's a mansion.

2. Charlie's proximity brought me great comfort. And there were other benefits, too, to this arrangement, beyond the warmth.

3. An army is only as strong as its weakest man. Uther had drilled this into Arthur's head repeatedly, until it stuck; until it was the only thing Arthur could think about when he was on the training pitch until supper each night—that he would not be that man.

4. So Jared tells him about the dining hall, and then he remembers that he never got to tell Jensen about last night either, so he backtracks to tell Jensen about that, and then goes back to the dining hall, and ends with knocking over the trays and having the dining hall lady glowering at him as he knelt in the middle of orange juice and left over eggs.

5. The taxi dropped Jared off on Jensen's street before, but the West Village is a rabbit warren of streets.

Oh, little Merlin story, be done already.

Here, have yet another candidate for the Pile of AUs That We Are Too Lazy to Write Ourselves, But That Would Be Really Awesome!

For vague context: walkawayslowly and I have been calling Rodney/John 'McSheep' for approximately 9287374 years (give or take), due to the fact that we kept accidentally typo-ing in that extra 'e'. For specific context: we were talking about Heightmeyer, whom we hate rather more than would really seem necessary:

walkawayslowly: i want to hit her with a stick.
causeways: we should beat her with sheep!
walkawayslowly: yes! and potatoes.
causeways: i bet sheep!rodney would bite her on the bottom, and then be like, "ewwww now i have that taste in my mouth, WHERE IS JOHN."
walkawayslowly: sheep!john would kick her shins. nawww, sheep!
causeways: they are even in love as sheep, it's true.
walkawayslowly: AHAHAHA, okay, FOR LIKE A SECOND. i pictured RONON as a sheep.
causeways: AHHH!
walkawayslowly: and he was dirty and, like, BEDRAGGLED. and his poor little wool was all GNARLED and DREADED. because he has been on the run! from another flock! wolves killed his family!
causeways: . . . OMG.
walkawayslowly: he's just looking for some peace!
causeways: SHEEP!AU.
walkawayslowly: AHAHAHAA. and, like, teyla is from another herd nearby, over a couple of hills, but she likes rodney and john's herd a little better, so she visits a lot. and zelenka was a runt, so he's kind of small and they never shear his neck/head area right, so he's got a bit of wild growth.

This could be TOTALLY GENIUS, am I right?

Ahaha, I just realized: this was really the next logical step after 1ightning's sheep hustling AU (No Puns Please -- John/Rodney, 4,300 words, NC-17), wasn't it? Rodney doesn't steal sheep anymore! He IS a sheep! ANYWAY.

I sort of hate how very good walkawayslowly and I are at coming up with GENIUS IDEAS FOR STORIES. Same with me and memphis86, that ho. Our overwhelming laziness/lack of time is SO TRAGIC.

&jensen/snowshoes;

Title: How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
Author: causeways
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: John/Rodney
Word Count: 14,427
Disclaimer: So not mine, sadly.
Summary: If you asked John, the part where he had to marry Rodney to save him from the poisoned brownie he ate off-world? It never happened.
Author's Notes: Thanks to notthequiettype and reallythateasy for the prompt (where by thanks I really mean BLAME), and to walkawayslowly for making this awesome in every possible way, including but not limited to betaing, hand-holding and loving on the McSheep. Set sometime in the middle of S2.

( How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It )

For header information, see part one.

( How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It (2/2) )

So walkawayslowly and I were talking the other day about Ronon Dex and his complete and utter smoking hotness.

( A visual aid, for the uninitiated! )

And then we had the following conversation.

causeways: "what not to wear: dreads."
walkawayslowly: it's a good thing the rest of him is still so smoking hot.
causeways: yeah, really. i mean! i'd still do him.
walkawayslowly: well, yes. but i'd def make him tie the dreads back. so they never touched me.
causeways: ahaha. "i'll sleep with you! But i might make you wear a hair condom."
walkawayslowly: OMG YES.
causeways: it's like a shower cap, right. except FOR DREADLOCKS.
walkawayslowly: only he ends up looking like the brain.
causeways: i feel much better about ronon as a potential sexual partner now!
walkawayslowly: me too!

And then we started talking about The Dreads as a sentient being, much like The Artist Formerly Known as John Sheppard's Hair, JJ Spice, and wondering what we could name The Dreads.

walkawayslowly: la sha ronda botique cherelle
causeways: cherelle!
walkawayslowly: PERFECT. from now on, they are not dreads, they are cherelle.
causeways: they are! i feel much better about ronon as a potential sexual partner now!
walkawayslowly: oh, cherelle. you are so smelly.
causeways: and so gross. cherelle is like, a grungy granola-eating lesbian stuck on a hot man's head.
walkawayslowly: who wears tie die.
causeways: and the same pair of birkenstock sandals! SINCE 1978.
walkawayslowly: and she drives a really, really old two door volvo that used to be red but is now more an orangey faded color.
causeways: she eats only vegan food. she's thinking of going raw.
walkawayslowly: and she smells like asparagus.
walkawayslowly: she's got sixteen too many cats and she doesn't really like to clean the cat pans
causeways: and she keeps trying to make ronon sleep with her type of woman, but it doesn't really work out too well, because they are all EWW PENIS NO.
walkawayslowly: well, no. because ew.
causeways: and he is like, but my penis is AWESOME?
walkawayslowly: also, ronon is a little more picky than that
causeways: he is.

So! ( MEET CHERELLE. )

In conclusion, the verdict is: We would totally sleep with Ronon Dex.

causeways: although cherelle still totally has to suit up. sorry, babe.
walkawayslowly: oh yeah, well. that's just a given.
causeways: THIS AIN'T NO THREESOME.

Uh, I have a new default icon! Dean Winchester looking down was my icon since I first got into SPN (so uh, since March, omg):



But much as I love him, it was sort of time for a new one. So, pretty, colorful unamaga icon!



No one will recognize me on the internet EVER NOW, will they, Ash? Ahaha.

Anyway, I am currently working on four different things in three different fandoms. Er, two fandoms and an original TV show, I guess I should say. (The last of which is a BOARDING SCHOOL STORY, and I am in love with every single character on it, and yes, it might never see the light of day, but WHATEVER, IT ROCKS, THE END.) For ages I only ever worked on one story at once, and now I am more-or-less actively working on FOUR. Two J2, one McShep (which walkawayslowly and I keep calling McSheep, because we are ridiculous, and it cracks us up) and the TV show, not even counting the at least . . . four? five? other stories that are in progress or in some state of revision, and wow, I didn't it was possible to love this many stories and this many characters THIS MUCH all at once. Does anybody else feel that way? Like, just sort of FULL OF LOVE for a whole big bunch of characters or different permutations of characters, and incapable of choosing which ones you love the most at any given time because they are all that awesome? Yeah.

I think I had something more to say, but instead I think I am going to go hang out with McKay and Sheppard. Or maybe the Never Been Kissed Js. Or maybe the TOTALLY AWESOME Js from memphis86's and my crackfic. I can't decide! But whichever ones I pick, I know it'll be so much fun, and that is a pretty amazing thing.

I did it! I signed up for spn_j2_bigbang along with everyone and their mother. I've only looked at the first page or so of comments, but it looks like a lot of people are writing J2 this year. I sort of want to go back and sign up for SPN instead, just to be difficult, but I'm not doing it, because I already know exactly what I'm writing: lingering in the golden gleam sequel fic!

Uh, sorry if that kind of kills the point of the anonymous title-and-summary-posting in May? I'm the kid writing the "Jensen is gay and on Broadway and Jared is a big-shot actor who just got back from spending a month or so in an alternate universe where he was married to Jensen and had kids and now they are actually getting together in the real world" not!AU. Surprise!

I'm not going to be creating a Big Bang filter or anything like that, because come on now, fics that are upwards of 20K and I? We are tight. So I'm just kind of . . . not going to be talking about my Big Bang ahead of time, other than how I just told you what it is. If you're super curious about how it's going or something, you're welcome to ping me.

Oh! Speaking of fic, I posted some last night!

The World Gone Still
Sam/Dean | NC-17 | 4,083 words | written for spn_apocasmut
Dean could have stopped this thing if he'd been a little faster, a little less weak—but on the last day of Dean's year, when Sam shakes him awake at 3:30 in the morning and says he's figured it out, Dean finds himself incapable of forming the word 'no'.

It's a kind of an oddball fic for me, I'll be the first to say. I'm usually the one who needs to spell out EVERYTHING EVER, and I kind of tried to . . . not do that here. Anyway, I hadn't written Sam and Dean in ages! It was sort of fun to go back to them.

And now, back to cowriting Never Been Kissed J2 AUs with setissma and writing marry-or-die McShep for Ash and Crystal AND MERRIN, those pushy bitches. ♥

Super-brief post just to say I am back and alive after Chicago! I'll post more about it (with select pictures!) later, but for now I will be going downstairs to eat chili and CRY about the fact that my flist is at skip?=460 and I am never going to catch up ever. The internet is only supposed to explode when I am here and bored, you guys! Not when I am out of town drinking my weight in German beer! (I honest to God had a very difficult time typing that as 'beer' and not 'Bier'. I miss German. :( I should mention that I was in Chicago with a bunch of Americans I know from being in Germany last year -- hence the German.)

Anyway, hopefully I'll be catching up on all of your posts and ridiculously awesome stories (omg belyste omg) tonight -- if I don't end up going and seeing Juno again with my family, that is. Speaking of whom, I should go hang out with them now, since I haven't in five days.

Also? Ash and Crystal are evil. I think I am writing McShep get-married-or-die fic. AFTER I WRITE spn_apocasmut, girlmostlikely. I KNOW MY DUTIES.

I'm going to ahead and post this now, so that I will really have to finish this story tonight:

Who wants to beta approximately 20K of The Family Man J2?

(20K give or take ~1K -- and if I know anything about my own writing, it's that 'give' is more likely than 'take'. Sigh.) I'd especially love it if I could get a beta who isn't familiar with the movie The Family Man, because even though the fic deviates pretty far from the movie (and not just in the "Jared Padalecki is nine billion times hotter than Nicholas Cage" way), I still pulled the basic plot from there and I'm a little worried I might have left out a key plot point or something because it existed in the movie and in my brain but not actually on the page, y'know?

So anyway!

Also, speaking of word counts, a random question. I'm specifically thinking of this because of Yuletide, but I've noticed it a few other places: When people in SPN fandom (including me) post word counts, they say things like '20K' and it means 'twenty thousand words'. On the Yuletide website, though, and some other places (like Intersections by kaneko, which is pre-series SGA Antarctica McShep and like eighty BILLION kinds of amazingsauce and if you care about SGA at all you should go over there and read it right now, shoo! Huh, accidental recs post! \o/) the length is listed as, for example, '157K' (in the case of Intersections) -- but then I actually C&Ped it into Word and it was more like, 24,475 words. So does the 157K correspond to file size, IQ needed to understand the story completely, the author's address, the number of moles on the author's back, what? Someone smarter than me, explain!

I leave for the airport in two hours and I am not entirely packed yet. Oops? I mean, I'm mostly packed. That is kind of like being packed! I am also one episode away from having watched all of S1 of SGA (one down, two and a bit to go!). I am beginning to feel like a broken record about my SGA love. DORKLOVE IN OUTER SPACE!

Oh! I suck! I've gotten cards from a bunch of people in the past week or so and have neglected to post about it. nasus221, jamesinboots, anmkosk and pocketfullof, you guys all make me squishy inside. ♥

And I told a couple of people I would do this last night, so:

( snippet from the J2 Family Man fic. 451 words. )

I was going to post about kind of big life events or something of the sort, but no, instead I have a poll! So apparently I am going to be talking about SGA sometimes now. In addition to SPN and J2, y'all. NOT IN PLACE OF. So the first question in this Very Important Poll is applicable for like three people on my flist, but whatever. It's trufax.

Poll #1107417 four very important questions
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 38

John Sheppard: bottomiest bottom in the universe.

Dean Winchester: takes it up the ass.

In this hypothetical J2 Family Man AU I might be writing, Jared and Jensen live in Jared's house in Vancouver and have two kids. The kids are:

What are the kids named?

Ehh, mini-hiatus is over a night early. Fuck that shit. I'm done with nearly all of the work that's due tomorrow, anyway, thanks to the fact that I sat down and wrote papers pretty much all day long today. Good tiiimes. And they may be shitty, but they are done, and that's what matters!

So now I am watching SGA (I'm so late on this! Like everything else! But but but. MCSHEP.) and then doing a little bit of work and then maybe, IDK, writing fic or something. I feel like I haven't written fic in ages. How weird.

Poll #1104745 make decisions for me!
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 25

Which fic should I work on?

Right, I'ma go watch the power of Rodney and John's epic love save the world. I AM NOT ABANDONING YOU, SPN, I SWEAR. I love my gay demon hunting brothers! I'm just a little enamored of the epic geeklove.