In honor of having sent our really hilariously long Big Bang off to the betas (SORRY BETAS) last night, I bring you fic that's been chillin' on my hard drive for a very long time. It's SPN, even! WILD.

Title: The Cape May Haunted Trolley Tour
Author: causeways
Fandom: SPN
Rating: PG
Pairings: gen (you have no idea how much it pains me to say that!)
Word Count: 4,300
Disclaimer: SPN belongs to Eric Kripke, not me. I would have done some reeeeally different things with it if it were mine!
Summary: After a family disappears on the southern Jersey Shore, Sam and Dean investigate.
Author's Notes: This was originally going to be the beginning of something much, much longer, but that wasn't happening. This is set in some vague nebulous period of canon between the end of S2 and the start of anything particularly plotty in S3.

( The Cape May Haunted Trolley Tour )

I've been reading a lot of Merlin fic, as one does, a good bit of which has been modern day AU. I really love modern day Merlin AUs. (There are four fics in particular that I love like burning; two of them are still WIPs, though, so I think I'll save that rec post till they're done.) And I've been thinking about other Merlin AUs I would want, and there is one that I have not seen and am pretty much dying for.

I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how much I would love to have a Merlin footballer AU. Normally if I were dying for something I would at least consider writing it myself, but since in this case I know shit nothing about football, I am not even close to the person who should be writing this. Clearly someone who knows football should make this happen. Arthur the international man of mystery football star! Merlin the . . . sort of incompetent keeper who manages to make these saves out of NOWHERE and it just doesn't make a damned bit of sense and maybe he is slightly magic! (This is another thing I love -- when Merlin's still got magic in modern day AUs.)

I don't have a fully fleshed-out plot or anything, and just in terms of not knowing British/football culture I do NOT feel like I should be writing this -- I think it would be a much better and richer story written by someone who does -- but anyway, the idea was inspired by this blind item on Dlisted a while back*:

Which star athlete is having an affair with one of his teammates? In the macho world of sports, homosexuality is rarely discussed. However, these two teammates - one much more high profile than the other - have been practically joined at the hip for the past several months. Both are married, and both of their wives are in for a nasty shock if they find out. Team managment does know, and is seriously considering trading the lesser player to prevent a full-blown public scandal that might diminish their star’s reputation and ticket sales.

*How much do I LOVE Michael K, btw? SO MUCH. Never has anyone managed to gross me out so consistently in so many new and hilarious ways.

I would cut the line re: the marriage and the wives, and just leave it as "Arthur is the huge star and Merlin is the teammate," but anyway. If this kind of AU already exists and I just missed it, clearly you need to link me now. Otherwise, fly free, little footballer AU idea! Fly free!

Oh and here, have another couple of ideas for stories in other fandoms! Two first lines for stories I am never going to write:

Sam/Dean: In Stone Creek, Alabama, on a night when it's too hot to sleep under the covers, Dean pulls Sam's boxers down and licks up the length of his cock.

John/Rodney: Not that Rodney was opposed to being bathed in milk and honey, exactly, even when the milk came from cacti and the honey was the secretion of a creature that looked a lot like a yak. The women doing the bathing were all kinds of hot, and in the next tub over Sheppard definitely looked like he was enjoying himself.

I don't care if you credit me for anything above, but do shoot me a link if you do anything with them, so that I can see these stories actually existing in the world. ESPECIALLY THE FOOTBALLER AU.

And okay, hopefully this won't be confusing: now for some stories I AM writing!

Post a single sentence or two extract from each WIP you have (or as many as you want to pick). No context, no explanations.

Some original fic, some fanfic. A couple of these are rather less in progress than more, but they're all in some state of partial completion. And again, these are the stories I'm currently writing myself, so these ideas belong to me (and in one case, also to walkawayslowly). They are not up for grabs! (Although personally, I think the stuff above sounds way more exciting. FOOTBALLER AU.)

1. The rental house sprawls over its beachfront lot. It's a Cape Cod, two gables, cedar shakes and a widow's walk; it's not a beach house, it's a mansion.

2. Charlie's proximity brought me great comfort. And there were other benefits, too, to this arrangement, beyond the warmth.

3. An army is only as strong as its weakest man. Uther had drilled this into Arthur's head repeatedly, until it stuck; until it was the only thing Arthur could think about when he was on the training pitch until supper each night—that he would not be that man.

4. So Jared tells him about the dining hall, and then he remembers that he never got to tell Jensen about last night either, so he backtracks to tell Jensen about that, and then goes back to the dining hall, and ends with knocking over the trays and having the dining hall lady glowering at him as he knelt in the middle of orange juice and left over eggs.

5. The taxi dropped Jared off on Jensen's street before, but the West Village is a rabbit warren of streets.

Oh, little Merlin story, be done already.

Title: Treat Her Like a Lady
Author: causeways
Fandom: SPN
Rating: R
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Word Count: 6,042
Disclaimer: All characters, situations, etc. belong to Eric Kripke and others. Except for the demon poodle. The demon poodle is mine.
Summary: You can never tell when a conversation with a really smokin' woman is going to come back and bite you in the ass. Dean gets cursed into dating Sam.
Author's Notes: This is for walkawayslowly, since basically it is all her fault. Thanks to balefully and dark_reaction for reading this over and to memphis86 for betaing.

( Treat Her Like a Lady )

I'm really smart, yo. I uploaded five Cake albums for regala_electra this morning, and then I never posted the links.

Here! Have awesome music! All .zip files, all on MegaUpload.

Comfort Eagle

Fashion Nugget

Motorcade of Generosity

Pressure Chief

Prolonging the Magic

I can do tracklistings too if anyone wants them!

Anyway, I'm in San Diego, and it's lovely if a little bit cool and overcast. Today I learned that trying to play ultimate frisbee on the beach while hung-over is a poor choice. Surprising, isn't it? Also, that walkawayslowly kid, I really like her or something. I talked to her for an extraordinarily long time while drunk last night, which I figure is just repayment for that one time she drunk-dialed me and talked to me in Whale. ("Helloooooooooo, I aaaaaaaaaam druuuuuuuunk.")

Oh yeah, and spn_j2_bigbang summaries got revealed! theoret and I are behind this guy:

Title: Hey, It Could Happen

Summary: This is the story of how unicorns saved Sam and Dean. It's a little embarrassing. Dean would like to make very clear that he has absolutely not befriended the unicorns. Also, he totally doesn't have a thing for his brother.

YUP.

Dude, today's the one year anniversary of when I first posted SPN fic! How crazy! The Placement of Water and Lead was the fic (Sam/Dean, NC-17, 10,969 words) -- post-Heart Evil!Sam yay!

Ahaha, I just tallied it up: I've written over two hundred thousand words of SPN and CW RPS in the past year. 206,660 words, to be exact. MADNESS. But really fun madness. :D

Also? I, uh, seem to be doing spn_j2_bigbang after all. Heh. There's this fic theoret and I wrote a billion years ago and then never posted because it was in bad need of a rewrite, soooo yeah. That's happening! First time Wincest with a hearty dose of craaaack.

aljslkjdfa, this is ALL walkawayslowly's FAULT. And maybe a little bit ignited's. VILE ENABLERS.

ETA: dark_reaction thinks I don't love her, BUT I DO.

I really don't want to say a lot about these two fics because I don't want to give anything away, but first you should read:

Me and the Devil Blues by britomart_is
Sam/Dean | R | 2,200 words
It’s been nine months since the hellhounds dragged Dean into the Pit, and Sam drives along the coast highway with an empty passenger seat beside him. He hums along to Black Sabbath in the tape deck—Dean’s music, not his, but Sam learned to make concessions a long time ago.

And then you should REALLY REALLY REALLY read:

Burn My Body Down By the Highway Side by britomart_is
Sam/Dean | NC-17 | 3,500 words

That second one won't make a bit of sense without the first, and the first one is totally awesome, but the SECOND, omg, I can't even deal. Seriously, I don't want to say anything else at all. Just. SO GOOD.

OMFG. Okay so, reallycorking has been one of my favorite fanartists for approximately a gazillion years. She's been drawing pretty much exclusively (if not exclusively!) for HP for quite a while, but dudes, it's so damned awesome. And literally two nights ago I randomly spent a couple hours making walkawayslowly look at a bunch of RC's art (Merrin was all, "I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE MAKING ME LOOK AT HP HET. And yet I cannot STOP.") like this, and this, and this, and OMFG THIS.

And then TONIGHT reallycorking posted SAM/DEAN FANART. Seriously, I DON'T THINK I COULD BE MORE EXCITED ABOUT THIS IF I TRIED. SO MUCH AWESOME. GO. LOOK.

Drunk!Sam and Dean

EEEEE.

The authors just got revealed over at the spn_gleeweek [guess the author competition], so I get to claim my story!

Title: In the Telling
Author: causeways
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Word Count: 1,391
Disclaimer: Belongs to Kripke, not to me!
Summary: After Sam gets him out of the deal, Dean fucks a lot of girls.
Author's Notes: Thanks to memphis86 for looking this over!

( In the Telling )

I sort of want to insert a long paragraph of blah about warnings and how I hate them (this is related because in spite of the fact that Dean sleeps with like a dozen girls in my spn_gleeweek fic I would never, ever warn for het in it), but I think I'll save that for another day.

Right now, I want to point you over to girlmostlikely's [accidental schmoop meme] where I got coerced into writing ~400 words of Sam/Dean, gruffness, the giver being more surprised than the receiver. Coerced, yup. Writing that was REALLY PAINFUL, let me just tell you. *g*

And speaking of the accidental schmoop meme and of the GtA competition, have some shortfic recs!

Jared/Jensen, off-season, missing each other by dontyouwaitup
PG | 565 words | from the accidental schmoop meme
I love the matter-of-fact-ness and also their banter SO MUCH.

Sam/Dean, taking a bath together by memphis86
R-ish | 556 words | from the accidental schmoop meme
My comment on this was something along the lines of, "I just made a happy noise so high-pitched that ONLY THE DOGS HEARD IT." First time Sam/Dean in a BATHTUB.

The lady of the right hand by fleshflutter
pre-series Dean-centric gen | PG-13 | 1,789 words | from spn_gleeweek
Dean's last night in New Orleans with that voodoo gig.
This is one of those fics that makes me wonder why I don't read more gen than I do. Or maybe it's just that fleshflutter's really awesome. Dean and a TOTALLY FANTASTIC original character.

Joie de Vivre by memphis86
Sam/Dean | PG-13 | 1,906 words | from spn_gleeweek
This is just a really cool short fic that TOTALLY MESSES WITH YOUR MIND. I'm a big fan of that. Sam in the South of France!

The Eyes Have It by __tiana__
Jared/Jensen | PG-13 | 1,200ish words
This isn't actually from either the accidental schmoop meme OR from the GtA entries, but it's short and also all about Jared realizing that there are 28374 pictures of Jensen staring at him like he is COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH HIM, so I really don't see how this could not get included.

*

I haven't actually read all of the spn_gleeweek fics yet, so there may be a part two to this after I get my act together. And now back to doing . . . whatever it is you do at your internship after you are already finished researching replacement refrigerator parts. Writing fic?? We shall see.

Title: we are only what we are (not what we would be)
Author: causeways
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine. All characters, situations, etc. belong to Eric Kripke and others.
Summary: After the events of 3x11 'Mystery Spot', Sam and Dean have to find a way to move on with their lives.
Author's Notes: I have FAR too many people to thank for this fic to be able to ennumerate here -- you all know who you are. ♥ Special thanks to girlmostlikely for encouragement and for help with the title. I've been working on this for a really long time, you guys, so I hope you like it.

( we are only what we are (not what we would be) )

What with everyone frantically writing their Big Bangs, LJ seems to be sadly devoid of porn lately! Clearly this called for some Sam/Dean rimming.

Title: A Rose by Any Other Name (Would Be Just As Gay)
Author: causeways
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Word Count: 673
Disclaimer: All characters, situations, etc. belong to Eric Kripke and others.
Summary: Sam and Dean spend the night at a bed-and-breakfast. With rimming.
Author's Notes: girlmostlikely wanted rimming! So did Dean, even if he won't admit it. girlmostlikely is also behind the title.

(  A Rose by Any Other Name (Would Be Just As Gay) )

Uh, there's really no excuse for this one. I mean it.

Title: The Seven Levels of the Candy Cane Forest
Author: causeways
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Sam/Dean (also a couple of peripheral other ones, but it REALLY depends on how hard you read into the innuendo)
Word Count: 2,750
Disclaimer: So utterly not mine that I can't even begin to say.
Summary: Raised by a craftsman and his wife, Sam undertakes a dangerous journey to the north to discover who he truly is--and meets someone unexpected when he gets there.
Author's Notes: This is about three parts fairy tale and eight parts rip-off of a rip-off of Elf. Yeah. Oh, and 97897424 parts crack. walkawayslowly, memphis86 and my truly fantastic internship are to blame for this, in approximately equal measure.

( The Seven Levels of the Candy Cane Forest )

I watched both 3x12 and a whole bunch of Project Runway this weekend. ( I have no idea if anyone cares about PR spoilers, but there are probably still some people who care about 3x12 spoilers for sure, so I'll cut just in case. With photographic evidence, for people who want to know what I'm talking about but don't watch PR. )

Um. I might have been extremely bored at my internship earlier. That is my excuse for all of this. But anyway, shannon_doll is just getting into SPN, and I told her I'd give her some recs, SO:

( A big ol' list of recs. Nine SPN and six CW RPS. SPN recs are either AUs or do not contain spoilers past the end of S1 -- or at least, they shouldn't, if I did my job right! )

Poll #1140063 I don't want to hear any more of your blah blah blah.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 79

When characters speak, it's called:

I think that:

Sam Winchester is:

A short Saturday-afternoon list of Things That Are Awesome!

1. The fact that today is regala_electra's birthday! Reg is so fantastic, and I love her.

2. Cobra Starship last night! Gabe Saporta's creepy purple sweatshirt, and his fabulously bad dancing, and the fact that I am hilarious and know the words to all the songs, and that the average age of the crowd was 11.5, no joke. Also, the opening bands, omg. The moment when the two guitarists and the bassist from We the Kings all flung their hair forward and back in unison! I wish I had it on video. I bet they practice it. "All right, when we get to the third line of this song, HAIR FLING!"

3. thehighwaywoman's abouttwoboys fic!

Stand by Your Man
Jared/Jensen | adult | ~30,000 words | AU based on The Wedding Singer

So cute, you guys. SO CUTE.

4. SPN 3x11! OH. MY. GOD. I rewatched it earlier and flailed at the screen SO many times. SAM WINCHESTER. I love him so much. ( spoilers )

This was meant to be an entry about how freaking terrified I am of second semester of senior year, my thesis and its 2,500 pages of primary source material, etc., etc., but no one really wants to hear me whine, and anyway I would much rather talk about the fact that apparently I can MAKE THINGS HAPPEN WITH MY BRAIN.

Yesterday evening I was talking to belyste, and bemoaning the fact that I had never, ever seen 69ing porn in SPN or CW RPS fic. She said she'd seen it maybe once, but it was still incredibly rare.

WELL. Since then, people have posted not one but TWO awesome fics that involve 69ing!

So Close to My Heart by audrarose
Jared/Jensen | NC-17 | 15,900 words
Dr. Jared and single-dad Jensen in Seattle, with love and complications.

Junk in the Trunk by lazy_daze
Sam/Dean | NC-17 | 1,500 words
Sam and Dean got locked in a trunk. There is porn.

AMAZING. walkawayslowly then went, "Ooh, say, 'I wish Sheppard and McKay would make out on the next episode of SGA' out loud! MAYBE IT WILL HAPPEN TOO." I hope this also works for my senior thesis! "My senior thesis will appear on my desk RIGHT NOW!"

Tragically, I suspect it only works for porn, but here's hoping I'm wrong.

I'm in a creative writing class this semester where the professor specifically said, "No genre fiction!" on the first day. I have a story (~10 double-spaced pages) due a week from Wednesday, and I so very badly want to turn in a story about a pair of cowboys falling in love in space, just to be ornery. It could be a VERY LITERARY story about cowboys falling in love in space! She is cramping my literary fiction genius.

One of these days memphis86 and I will totally get around to answering comments. Sigh. We are just apparently both lazy like really lazy things.

Anyway, things I'm intensely excited about:

• abouttwoboys posting starts in ten days! A week from Friday!
• Steve Carlson with notthequiettype and reallythateasy on Thursday!
• Speaking of Thursday! Those two boys on that TV show with the car? Yeah, I heard they get cursed into Sammypus and Deanigator, and they have EPIC SEA BATTLES. Dean makes a lot of seamen jokes, and Sam cries enormous tears of angst because he HATES having tentacles. And then they cling to each other lovingly and all is well with the world. That's totally what happens, you guys, I SWEAR.

I haven't recced anything in quite a while, have I? Well! Here's one.

The Larks, Still Bravely Singing by kajikia
Sam/Dean | NC-17 | 3,350 words | World War II AU
"It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it." – Robert E. Lee

You might have missed this part, since I haven't put it in bold yet, but I will now! World War II AU, you guys. WORLD WAR II AU. There is pretty much nothing in the universe I love more than war stories, and World War II stories above all others. I quite honestly don't know why I'm not all over Band of Brothers fandom, because I fucking LOVE that series. I've watched Saving Private Ryan eighty gazillion times. One of my top three favorite books is Once an Eagle, which you should all go read, because it is epic and amazing and starts in World War I and continues on from there and just. When bad things happened to those characters, I had to freaking put the book down and walk away for a while, I got that invested in it.

Anyway, the point here is that I love good war stories beyond belief, and I also love Sam and Dean, and THOSE TWO THINGS COMBINED are basically the awesomest ever, and I kind of want to fangirl kajikia ridiculously for writing this story. I don't just love it for the concept, okay. It's also FANTASTIC writing, and God, the Sam/Dean dynamic. SO GOOD. cathybites is so freaking lucky to get that for her spn_holidays fic. :D

And randomly, have a song! oh comely -- neutral milk hotel

One of my friends played this song for me about a year ago and said, "You're probably not going to like this, but it's the most-played song in my iTunes, and give it a chance, okay?" And I got about thirty seconds in and was like, "I LOVE THIS SONG A LOT." And it only gets better. Such weirdass lyrics, so much awesome.

I did it! I signed up for spn_j2_bigbang along with everyone and their mother. I've only looked at the first page or so of comments, but it looks like a lot of people are writing J2 this year. I sort of want to go back and sign up for SPN instead, just to be difficult, but I'm not doing it, because I already know exactly what I'm writing: lingering in the golden gleam sequel fic!

Uh, sorry if that kind of kills the point of the anonymous title-and-summary-posting in May? I'm the kid writing the "Jensen is gay and on Broadway and Jared is a big-shot actor who just got back from spending a month or so in an alternate universe where he was married to Jensen and had kids and now they are actually getting together in the real world" not!AU. Surprise!

I'm not going to be creating a Big Bang filter or anything like that, because come on now, fics that are upwards of 20K and I? We are tight. So I'm just kind of . . . not going to be talking about my Big Bang ahead of time, other than how I just told you what it is. If you're super curious about how it's going or something, you're welcome to ping me.

Oh! Speaking of fic, I posted some last night!

The World Gone Still
Sam/Dean | NC-17 | 4,083 words | written for spn_apocasmut
Dean could have stopped this thing if he'd been a little faster, a little less weak—but on the last day of Dean's year, when Sam shakes him awake at 3:30 in the morning and says he's figured it out, Dean finds himself incapable of forming the word 'no'.

It's a kind of an oddball fic for me, I'll be the first to say. I'm usually the one who needs to spell out EVERYTHING EVER, and I kind of tried to . . . not do that here. Anyway, I hadn't written Sam and Dean in ages! It was sort of fun to go back to them.

And now, back to cowriting Never Been Kissed J2 AUs with setissma and writing marry-or-die McShep for Ash and Crystal AND MERRIN, those pushy bitches. ♥

And it's officially January 14th! spn_apocasmut IS GO.

Title: The World Gone Still
Author: causeways
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Word Count: 4,083
Warnings: toeing of the non-con line, experimentation in style and point of view
Disclaimer: All characters, situations, etc. belong to Eric Kripke and others.
Summary: Dean could have stopped this thing if he'd been a little faster, a little less weak—but on the last day of Dean's year, when Sam shakes him awake at 3:30 in the morning and says he's figured it out, Dean finds himself incapable of forming the word 'no'.
Author's Notes: Written for spn_apocasmut for prompts which can be found here, since a couple of them are pictures and they're kind of big. Set sometime after all aired episodes of S3, but doesn't really contain spoilers for anything past 2x22 'All Hell Breaks Loose' Part Two. Huge thanks to anasuede and nomelon for betaing, and to memphis86 for consulting and general awesomeness.

( The World Gone Still )

(Ahaha, that subject header is SUCH A LIE. I'm just quoting Gabe Saporta!)

Anyway! The saga of the wisdom teeth hasn't really been that much of a saga at all. Vicodin hasn't even been necessary, which is kind of sad, because how often do you legitimately get to be in possession of Vicodin? I'm super psyched, though: I'm allowed to eat solid foods again as of tomorrow! \o/ This means that the travesty that was tonight's dinner -- butternut squash, Kraft Mac & Cheese and apple juice (ALL OF WHICH WERE ORANGE) -- will hopefully never be repeated again. At least not until I am like, eighty, at which point I will probably be so senile that it will be helpful to have color-coded dinners: "It's Blue Foods night, so it must be Sunday!" I think my family is taking me to Outback tomorrow night to celebrate my return to chewing. I am going to order a BIG HONKING STEAK and it is going to be AWESOME.

Speaking of things that are awesome: abouttwoboys! setissma's and my wee little community is out in the world! Probably most of you have already heard about it already, since we both pimped it out yesterday, but just in case you missed it: SPN and CW RPS rewrites of romantic comedies! How can this be anything less than awesome? I suspect that it's probably going to be fairly J2-heavy, but SPN is totally encouraged too (as is het, if you want, but not gen, 'cause that kind of defeats the purpose of, y'know, romantic comedies), so wherever you fall on the spectrum, come write for us! Or at least come read all the awesome fic in a little more than a month. :D

So, randomly, I still owe at least seven of you holiday cards. :\ You're still going to get them! I swear! Just, uh. In the middle of January! But if I promised you a holiday card, I just wanted to let you know that I still haven't forgotten and I love you all, and uh, if you weren't originally on my list and want a January card with a ficlet in it? I will write one to you, too! Just email me your address, okay? [katjadee at gmail . com]

And omg, wendy, I have owed you porn in the mail since like. NOVEMBER. :( I'm on it, I promise!

Anyway! If I am not done with my spn_apocasmut by tomorrow at the latest, I might actually cry. I know exactly where I am going with this fic, even though where I am going is bizarre as hell; it's just taking me forever. It occurred to me that the last time I wrote straight-up non-genderswapped Sam/Dean? Was in motherfucking AUGUST. How weird is that, you guys? I've been in quasi-het-land and J2-land for that long. Clearly this needs fixin'.