Tags: merrin is my braintwin

j2: small but queer

FIC: Mildred: A College AU (J2, NC-17)


Title: Mildred: A College AU
Authors: causeways and walkawayslowly
Artist: heyhoolou, her art post is here. Tell her she is awesome!
Word Count: 62,131
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Official Summary: It is a truth universally acknowledged that a Jared in possession of his heterosexuality will immediately switch teams upon enrollment in college and first contact with Jensen Ackles.
Original Summary: Jared goes to college and is gay for Jensen Ackles. It's a real shocker, sports fans.
Real Summary: No really, that’s all that happens. For 60,000 words.
Disclaimer: Jared, Jensen, and all of the other real live people we mention belong to themselves. Sadly. The OCs are ours, all ours.
Authors' Notes:

Kelly thanks: walkawayslowly, for suggesting that we cowrite in the first place, and for waiting patiently for me to move past the laughing-in-her-face stage and into the "omg fine" stage; for not murdering me during the many, many periods of story-related emo; and for still being my very favorite person on the entire internet (and beyond!) at the end of it all. I can't think of anyone with whom I would rather have a child that is also a piece of fanfiction. You say that's slightly creepy? I say that's how we roll.
girlmostlikely, for a very fantastic beta, and for being one of my very first fandom friends, back when I was new and writing about Wincestuous adventures in prison. Those were good times.
nemoinis, for being so excellent as to offer to beta even when she did not know half of the authors, and for doing a fantastic job while she was at it.

Merrin thanks: causeways. I understand the key smash when I first asked her to cowrite now, and all the laughter. See, she'd done this before, and I really hadn't. If you are not familiar with the process, it is one arduous task. Similar to giving birth, I would imagine, or climbing a mountain, even though I have only done the latter and not the former. I have a new measure for a friend now, and it’s someone who will cowrite 60k of coming-of-age (and out-of-the-closet) rps with you and still be your friend at the end of it.
girlmostlikely, for agreeing to beta even though she knew how long it was going to be, and how much time we weren’t going to be able to give her. thanks also for pointing out our ACTUAL posting date as opposed to the posting date we THOUGHT we had. Love you, babe, you are the BEST.
nemoinis, for ALWAYS betaing everything, even my crappy popslash. and for being one of MY first fandom friends, back when I thought "slash" fic meant "stabbing people with pointy knives."

Kelly and Merrin both thank: heyhoolou, for picking our lame summary out of a whole list of summaries, and being an INCREDIBLY awesome artist; and the spn_j2_bigbang mods, for running this wild rumpus again.

stock: merrin > oxygen


It is the birthday of a number of people on my flist: jamesinboots, deirdre_c, and walkawayslowly! Happy birthday to all of you lovely people, and I apologize, James and Dei, for the bias here!

So, as I think we all know, Merrin is my very favorite person in the entirety of the internet, and it is HER BIRTHDAY! I wish you the very best possible birthday, and I hope the people at HPB are still enjoying your flowers (or that your cats had a good time devouring them, if you brought them home!), and most of all I really hope that Amy and Jack's car situation gets fixed so that you can have an actual good birthday celebration, because you deserve it.


Also! Merry Christmas in July!
stock: work that out

and nothing we've actually seen has been mapped or outlined

I'm sitting on the front porch of my family's new beach house, hanging out with my mom and my twelve-year-old dog and working on Merrin's and my Big Bang -- pretty good way to spend a summer Monday! -- and in the process of editing the Big Bang, I ran into a question that, for the first time in a million years, has prompted Merrin to say, "You should post a poll about it!"

If I have a college professor whose last name is Smith, I call him/her:

Dr. Smith
Professor Smith
something else that I will talk about in comments

In case you are wondering why I ask, it is because at my college we always, ALWAYS called professors "Professor Whatever." And at Merrin's college, which is where our Big Bang is set, they always called professors "Dr. Whatever." All of my professors WERE doctors; we just didn't call them that.

Anyway! The Big Bang editing, it continues! Along with totally not studying for the LSAT, oops.
stock: for one hour

a tree grows in brooklyn

There are some books I've read that I've known, from the very first page, I was going to love. Middlesex is one of them. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn is not. I actually said to walkawayslowly, "Is there a point at which I am suddenly going to start loving this book?"

"I don't know," Merrin said. "I sure hope so, since it's one of my favorites!"

I emailed her from a train in Germany to say, Have started to love this book. Emailed her again to say, NO REALLY IT IS 100% AWESOME.

When I got back from Europe, she said, "When did you realize you were going to like it?"

"On page 62," I replied.

Merrin laughed at me -- "On page 62? What??" -- but seriously, this is where I first got the sense that I was going to like this book a whole lot, and it is indeed on page 62 (of my copy, anyway):

She had been a virgin when she married and had humbly submitted to her husband's brutal love. His brutality early killed all of her latent desires. Yet she could understand the fierce love hunger that made girls--as people put it--go wrong. She understood how a boy who had been driven from the neighborhood for rape could still be a good boy at heart. She understood why people had to lie and steal and harm one another. She knew of all pitiful human weaknesses and of many cruel strengths.

Yet she could not read or write.

And this is where I began to fall in love with this book (pages 72-73 of my copy):

And the child, Francie Nolan, was all of the Rommelys and all of the Nolans. She had the violent weaknesses and passion for beauty of the shanty Nolans. She was a mosaic of her grandmother Rommely's mysticism, her tale-telling, her great belief in everything and her compassion for the weak ones. She had a lot of her grandfather Rommely's cruel will. She had some of her Aunt Evy's talent for mimicking, some of Ruthie Nolan's possessiveness. She had Aunt Sissy's love for life and her love for children. She had Johnny's sentimentality without his good looks. She had all of Katie's soft ways and only half of the invisible steel of Katie. She was made up of all of these good and these bad things.

She was made up of more, too. She was the books she read in the library. She was the flower in the brown bowl. Part of her life was made from the tree growing rankly in the yard. She was the bitter quarrels she had with her brother whom she loved dearly. She was Katie's secret, despairing weeping. She was the shame of her father staggering home drunk.

She was all of these things and of something more that did not come from the Rommelys or the Nolans, the reading, the observing, the living from day to day. It was something that had been born into her and her only--the something different from anyone in the two families. It was what God or whatever is His equivalent puts into each soul that is given life--the one different thing such as that makes no two fingerprints on the face of the earth alike.
stock: endless summer

it would be my honor to be your new stepfather.

I went to Borders today and bought two books. One of them was A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, because it is one of walkawayslowly's favorite books, and I have never read it. I was all set to call it a day right there, but then decided I wanted another book. Two seemed like a good number.

Out of Merrin's set of favorite books, the other two I could remember were The Time Traveler's Wife (which I have read and love), and The Sparrow, which my local Borders totally failed to provide me. So I bought The Demon's Lexicon, by Sarah Rees Brennan (sarahtales) instead.

Here is how much of a fandom geezer I am: I was reading Sarah Rees Brennan's stuff back when she was writing as Maya and had just finished posting Draco Malfoy and the Amazing Bouncing . . . Ferret? on Schnoogle. I remember being delighted by that story at the time, but also, I was fifteen. I've greatly enjoyed her stuff more recently than that (she was the last HP writer I still read), although, as discussed with fourfreedoms, her Draco was pretty much always exactly the same from story to story.

I didn't come into The Demon's Lexicon with super high hopes. I've been burned by other ex-fandom forays into original fic (see: Havemercy, by ladyjaida and danibennett, which I read all the way through, and the Mortal Instruments trilogy by cassandraclare -- what was with dropping the i in Claire, btw? does Clare actually make it look less thirteen-year-old? -- which I would maybe be willing to give another chance on a really, really strong recommendation, but thus far have not been able to get into). My main complaint about The Demon's Lexicon is that the dialogue is a little too clever in the way that Maya's Draco was always too clever, but it's entertaining, and I'm having a good time with it so far. Also, it's got a little SPN thing going on (brothers! on the run! demons!), if that's up your alley.

Also, this evening, my roommates and I entertained one of their friends from college, who is a boy who is dating a girl. This girl: a) is his roommate; b) has a boyfriend; c) is bisexual and mostly interested in girls; d) has a brother who is the third roommate in their apartment; and e) is the only one actually on the lease, and therefore the landlord in this situation. "I think this is kind of doomed from the start," the boy said. "But you know, one second we're just friends, and the next second we are stone cold sober making out."

Of course! These kinds of things happen to me ALL THE TIME.

This boy also once dated three girls simultaneously, and was delightfully befuddled about how it had come to pass. He's sort of an accidental ladies' man. I think this would make for an excellent romantic comedy. Bonus points: he was also a very good sport about watching the second season premier of True Blood with us, which is the guilty pleasure that has taken three-quarters of my apartment by storm. Possession of HBO On Demand is a very dangerous thing.
stock: stick it in deep

i'll get the super soaker.

I'm hanging out with one of my roommates and her tiny adorable gay friend, watching flashes of lightning through her floor-to-ceiling windows (it may not have a closet but her room sure does have some perks), reading Star Trek meta and awesome Kirk/girl!McCoy genderswap (I thought I was all done with genderswap a couple years ago when I wrote this but apparently I am not), drinking wine and typing up a truly craptastic scene from walkawayslowly's and my Big Bang that I am going to rewrite probably before I even show it to Merrin, and wanting something, I'm not sure what. Something.

The summer before I started college, I was jittery all the time, a little nervous -- not about the idea of entering into college exactly, but at the idea of all the possibilities that were in front of me: that I was going somewhere completely different, that I could turn into a whole different person, that I might fall in love at any moment.

I feel that way a little now, too -- not jittery or nervous, really, but on the verge of something. It's a warm and humid night, after a day that felt like full-on summer, and humid summer nights make me think of kissing on porch swings or in hammocks, of the possibility of falling in love (though I never have), and summers have always been that in-between time for me (and everyone, I guess) -- the time before I left for college, for Germany, for New York; the time before I had to figure out my life. I'm taking the LSAT this fall, though I'm not sure that law school is what I want to do; I have no idea what it is that I want to do. I'm not sure that I'll ever be sure. I think a lot of life is about just picking something that seems like it could be what you want and going for it, seeing if it fits. In the summer it just feels like the possibilities are spread wide open for me, like I could fit into all these different versions of my life, in endless ways.


My roommate just held up a stuffed animal and twisted it around and said, "Flipping llama!", apropos of nothing. You know what, I think this is a sign -- the universe is telling me that the best choice for this evening is Get Drunker.
stock: rain in spain

and you say don't you want to be like that man

A number of random things!

1) If you are ever on the Lower East Side and looking for French brunch: Collapse )

Prix fixe was $14.95 with a mimosa or a Bloody Mary, $11.95 with coffee, and every single thing my friends and I ate was 100% delicious. Also, the maitre d' was French and cute and saucy. I am not a fan of the tiny mustache, and yet it WORKED for him. Especially when he smiled and flirted.

2) Possibly I might have mentioned that Merlin ate me. I blame this guy:

HI COLIN MORGAN. Can we talk about how very much facial hair is REALLY, REALLY WORKING FOR YOU? (From here, and you should totally click that link because there are two other pictures there that are really vital to your existence.)

Also there is a big fat Colin Morgan picspam/lovefest going on at frantic_allonsy's journal, here, which contains even more things that are necessary like BREATHING.

3) I have recced this before; I will rec this again.

Drastically Redefining Protocol by rageprufrock
Arthur/Merlin | NC-17 | lots of awesome words | modern day AU

If you are in Merlin fandom at all, eight pages of comments say you have probably read this already, but let me just mention that I convinced my roommate to read this story, and my roommate has not been in fandom of any description for YEARS. You know why she is reading it?

Because it is just like The Prince & Me if it were better, hotter, and gay. Also this story has GOSSIP BLOGS. You do not need to be in Merlin fandom to read this story. You just need to be ALIVE.

I should say, because this is a fairly frustrating point for people who get really into stories and want them to be perfect, that the pacing gets a little wonky at the end. Regardless, I have a whole lot of trouble caring, because it is quite possibly the best universe ever. Have I mentioned the part where Arthur is the GAY PRINCE OF WALES yet? Because oh yeah. He is.

4) This is a placeholder for the massive Merlin recs post that I obviously need to make, because Merlin fic is pretty much how I spend all of my time. Yikes.

5) walkawayslowly is out of town and mostly internetless for approximately 982734 years, and it is driving me a little crazy. We were talking about how we missed each other, were getting very sappy, etc. and I said she'd better freaking call me soon.

causeways: Otherwise you'll come back and find me gnawing on my own leg and writing 24 gen fic out of desperation. If only Merrin had been there to stop her, they'll say!
walkawayslowly: Haha!! My aunt just asked me if I like 24. :) There is no reason to turn to 24 gen! Or I'll start adding some h/c into our Big Bang. That'll be the whole plot.
causeways: HORRIFYING.
walkawayslowly: Haha!! Don't threaten me with 24, missy.

So if you open our college AU in June/July/whenever and it is nothing but 40K of Jared being hurt and Jensen comforting him or whatever, you will KNOW that I am bound and gagged somewhere while Merrin gleefully took the fuck over. SEND HELP.

6) If I post again before finishing the fucking Gossip Girl RPF, slap me around a little, 'kay? AND NOT IN A HURT/COMFORT WAY.

the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot

I have had two goals for this week.

Goal #1: Finish watching Merlin.
Goal #2: Finish writing the JC Chasez/Chace Crawford, Ed Westwick/Chace Crawford fic that's been rolling around in my head since September.

I have completed one and a half of these goals! The one: I watched the last episode of Merlin earlier and, well. I enjoyed myself. I'm not the most in love with the show itself, but I think Colin Morgan is SUPER CUTE, and I am DEFINITELY all over the fic. And the writing of the fic. I have big plans for the writing of the fic!

(But not until walkawayslowly and I finish our J2 college AU for Big Bang! Which continues to move right along nicely. Jared knows he's gay now! PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE.)

The half: I thought the above-mentioned fic was one fic. It was not. For the three of you who care about how JC and Chace got it on and all the blogs knew it, Some Surreal Country (NC-17, 3,125 words). Yay! And for the other three of you who care about how Chace and Ed actually for serious live together in TriBeCa in a den of love, that fic will be here ALL TOO SOON.

The other thing that has eaten my brain, in addition to Merlin and totally random fic-writing? THE EXTREME ATTRACTIVENESS THAT IS JORMA TACCONE.

This past Saturday's SNL was one of the best I've seen recently, like, pretty much EVERY skit was dead-on hilarious. I spent all day at work on Monday quoting lines from "I'm On a Boat" in emails with my brother. Anyway, this led to me watching "Jizz in My Pants" repeatedly as well, and MAN, Merrin thinks I am super lame for this, but I don't even care -- JORMA TACCONE. IN THAT VIDEO. A++ WOULD DO IMMEDIATELY.

I know I am not the only one! rawkin_ur_sox agrees! The shirtless dancing is kinda bizarre, but it's not getting in the way of my love.

ETA: Hahaha, also. I have sort of combined AU modern-day Merlin and Jorma Taccone's "Jizz in My Pants" character in my head, like, Merlin's wearing pretty much that EXACT outfit and living in London (I need a few things from the grocery / doing things alone now mostly) and Arthur is very attractive, etc., and basically what I am talking about is how you should all go read Drastically Redefining Protocol by rageprufrock if you have not already. It is amazing! And the rest of it will go up this weekend! I am BEYOND THRILLED.
stock: but when merrin is bad

tell it straight, i'm trying to build a wall

After a moderately unsuccessful night out in search of dancing, my roommates and I are watching our TiVoed copy of Catch Me If You Can. Apparently TNT was having a Leo fest earlier, because we'd also TiVoed Titanic and watched the end of that during dinner. That shit STILL makes me a little teary-eyed. LAMEBURGER, RIGHT HERE. I'll never let go, Jack!

One of my oldest friends and I once watched Titanic up to and including the car sex scene and then turned it off. It was awesome. In that part of our brains that is still eleven years old and in love with Jack Dawson, this made the movie perfect. Rose and Jack got maaaarried and everyone was happy, the end!

Speaking of movies from that time period, L.A. Confidential is fucking awesome. My copy has gone missing, and I am deeply saddened.

walkawayslowly has posted about this, but I have yet to: she and I are co-writing for spn_j2_bigbang! J2 college AU, yeah buddy! I freaking love college AUs, so I'm pretty psyched that Merrin and I are writing one. I'm especially in love with this particular story, largely because I think we are hysterical. Constant entertainment around this joint.